My personal experience and the early red flags in a toxic marriage, reveal emotional manipulation, control, and the struggles of dealing with a narcissistic partner.
The Proposal and False Happiness and Hidden Motives
When my husband proposed to me, I was so happy—or so I thought. He was not present for important events, celebrations, or difficult times while we dated. When he proposed, I felt great because he chose me to spend the rest of his life with. I now don’t believe he just woke up and realized he loved me. He knew I would not tolerate his behavior any longer and knew he had to make some big move to keep me. I remember feeling on top of the world because I associated my worth with him choosing me over anyone else. I do believe he was convinced that I was the best choice for him as I am a responsible person and have a kind, loving heart. He knew that the back and forth of our relationship was not going to continue because I was done with being discarded over and over again.
Marriage and the Birth of Our Daughter
So we married and had a daughter a year and a half later. I was so happy to have a child with him. He acted as if he was excited to have a baby with me. I don’t know, maybe he was, but I really feel he thought that by having a baby together, I would never leave him. I believe he knew that stripping me of any financial independence, he could keep me chained to him. He knew without a shadow of a doubt that if I was financially independent, I would have the freedom to leave him. I ended up becoming a stay-at-home mom, and I was so glad and grateful for that.
Early Red Flags, Ignored Warnings of Anger
There were red flags during our dating relationship that he had anger issues and a temper. I believe I overlooked them because he never directed it towards me. But once we had our daughter, his anger came towards both of us. I was very protective of my daughter.
The First Incident Was A Frightening Display of Anger
One night, my daughter was crying when she was four months old. I was so tired, and I had hoped my ex-husband would get up and take care of her. Instead, he reached over me and hit her bassinet three times, telling her to be quiet. I got up and told him to never ever do that again. There was much silence the next day. So from then on, I found myself stuck. I continued to do my best and be a good mother. I handled the day-to-day stuff for the house and tended to our daughter.
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